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On day 4 I found myself becoming unexpectedly upset and hateful about a certain situation that arose at work. Later that afternoon, I read the lesson, which we know is about replacing hatred with love. I realized that in this situation, I wasn’t upset about any specific person or event, it was a hatefulness about general conditions of life itself, which presented themselves in this specific work situation. So it could really be described as a hatefulness towards a God who is being blamed for these conditions. It is amazing to consider that a simple unconscious pattern can so contradict and interfere with my overall spiritual intention, and the flow of energy within me and all around me, and how powerful it will be when such a pattern is transformed into Love completely.
Day with continous resistance, a lot of thoughts an unease during meditation practice. It seems very hard to become grounded at work and negativity in the forms of apathy, anger, hate and desire and lack of clarity arose during the day. A lot of confusion and lack of action during the day. A day also with family time and on the positive side lots of love and happiness, but also fear. More compassion towards society and news, and also something arose that was non integrous which I was ignorant of (but had an intuition) which was causing grief.
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